Unbalanced. Freaked.  Trapped inside myself. 

Tears leaking out of my face. 

Crying for no reason.  Crying with no intention.  Just salty tears and uneven breaths.

I can't explain how it got this bad. A bunch of shitty things happened, and I dealt with them and things were getting better.  One really shitty thing happened and I cracked. Distractions kept me from feeling how wide the crack grew.  And then the crack was deep inside and I couldn't close it up or climb out of it. 

It's been a while since I was this depressed.  It's devastating to be in it again. I can't get out alone, not when it's this bad.  I'm so scared of the damage I'll do in this state - scared of what all it can and will take from me.  I have to adjust my meds.  I have to hope they won't make it worse, because when the others did, I had others who could see too and who I could be honest with.  

Labels: depression, fight, get help, this will not be the end, you are more than this