If you're waiting for someone to come out of somewhere, I would advise you to stop. A person can waste countless days waiting, when what you need to do is to act, or in this case - to look. Time is precious and in a moment it is gone.

I never say this to the right people.

Hello bed.
I can't wait to visit you soon!

Lindsay lent me The Time Traveler's Wife and I am in love. I've come across plenty of good books lately, but this is more than good. My mind wanders off trying to wrap itself around the paper sculptors Clare makes. How they must look, how they must feel. How does she see it in her head? How beautiful must she have made that two bedroom flat. How hard it must be to know so much that you haven't lived yet, yearning for these events to become memories and then once you've experienced them all, what's left to wait for? How much of a future lies after that?

In the world of literature, Clare is my Artemis and my Venus. She very carefully wields the two opposite sisters into one being, one soul. And dear God, she's sexy!

Yo lib, what's up?!

Yes, it's Friday night and I'm updating my blog. I have my reasons, but that doesn't mean you're not going to still think I'm a total dork.

Reason One:
Nadia was supposed to come up today but didn't feel well. I didn't know for sure until getting off work tonight.

Reason Two:
I am driving home early tomorrow morning to drive to North Carolina to be there for my Grandma's birthday. I miss her.

Reason Three:
I never update this, so why hide out just because it makes me look like a dork when I admit to not doing anything cool on a Friday night. Things need to get done, like my whites. (I didn't realize I wore so much white in the past two weeks, but I guess if you factor in that I normally change shirts once a day, not so abnormal for me.)

NEWS:
I keep talking about mixtapes and people are starting to riot over not getting one. As a mixtape artist, you should realize that I actually take lots of time on my mixtapes. Making a good mixtape is like an art form. So please, guy. I got this one.

The one I'm currently working on is, at least I think, beautiful. I have finally surmised that it gives off a certain mood and feeling - being emotionally over with someone. You have to recall a few key memories and then you realize, it's over. You have no more emotional attachments to that person. And sometimes it feels awful, a part of your past becomes worthless, unable to be rewritten. And sometimes it feels good and empowering.


Does anyone else notice that I'm constantly changing the formatting of my posts?

My blog's new nickname is Libi. Let it be.

My nextdoor neighbor Alex and I are now msn friends. Seeing as I've given up on online chat, aim & fb chat, this makes the most sense for us to stay in touch. I've known Alex since I moved here. I pretty much grew up with him and he's kinda like a brother. Or at least that was the lie going around on the bus in middle school. I kinda miss him.

I hate being away from people so long that you forget that you could even miss them. You just stop missing them. I'm trying to fix that but with life being so busy now, that's kinda hard.

I still have all of those topics to discuss on the blog. I'll get to them, I promise.

Dear Post 95,
I've been really really REALLY busy lately. So busy that some of my followers (I sound like I'm conducting a cult) have taken notice and have spoken up. Let's go to Meeting Wizard and find a time where we can meet up. Monday's I'm at the radio station for digital media, Tuesday's I have Gamma Sig meetings, Wednesday I'm back at the radio station for Liner Notes, and Thursday and Friday I'm working at Bolton. Oh. Well....let's do weekends.

Oh wait, we can get coffee after Chapter on Tuesdays! Wait, no. I have to go to bed early Tuesday nights for my 8 am. Ok, we could kick it Wednesdays if I'm not studying for a test or quiz that night....okay dear blog. We'll find a way to meet some how. On the darkside of the moon? No, not my style. How about like when I'm not going crazy?
Thanks libi!

Love ya,
Jill
P.S. How about we keep this little impossible schedule thing to ourselves? Sound good?

Naturally I'm busy getting ready for a party, straightening my hair and all, and this idea comes to me and I have to drop everything and write about it.

Valentines Day. I have finally found out why I don't hate it. Yes I'm a huge romantic, despite my theories on loveshit, but it has finally occurred to me why V Day doesn't just crawl under my skin. It's because I've always been single on Valentines Day.

No, I'm not saying if you've never been attached during it then it's never going to get you down. What I surmised is that because the lovey dovey relationship part has never applied to me, it's not a holiday for me at all. Like Chanukah. I'm not Jewish, but that doesn't mean I don't still recognize it. Valentines Day is my Chanukah. Let all the little Jewish kids get treats and presents and celebrate a fine tradition. I'm gonna just go party with all my friends like it's just another Friday and I just got off work.

I have this inner monologue about who people are and who people want to be bubbling up to my lips every five or so hours and I still haven't written it down. I'm going to lose it I fear but for some reason I'm being stubborn and not writing it down to remember. It bubbled up in my sleep and was fresh on my mind when I awoke from my faux nap. It bubbled up in class. It came to me again on the bus. I'm afraid it's trying to tell me something. If it is, if it's what I think it is, I don't want to hear it. I'm not listening.

Besides, I have no time. Tonight I bailed on what I wanted to do for sleep. Tomorrow I will be unsure all day about choosing between what I need to do and what seems to be happening. I'm not regretting getting a Thursday/Friday job, I just wish I had more time in the rest of the week, because now everyday is something. Every day is bubbling over and the steam is causing the kettle to sing and I can't take this. I just can't take this.

I went from having nothing to having too much, and I still don't have enough. So when I have enough for happiness, how unhappy will i be? How stressed and worried and frantic will I be then? Will I have to take it then? I just, can't, take it.

It's sixteen miles to the promise land, and I promise you, I'm doing the best I can.

I'm making mixtapes, i'm not sure who all will be getting one, but they are going to be awesome.
Nikki made me 2 mixtapes and gave them to me last week & I already had two started for her, so that will be two for Nikki. Roomie just made me one, so that will be one for her. Or maybe just a memory stick with some Cursive & Be Your Own Pet. I think they both will scare her a little, but they are lovely in their own aspects and I think she could like them. Janie's birthday is Sunday and I'm thinking up the prettiest mix for her. I can't find the list of the one I made her last year, so let's hope I don't repeat myself.

I love mixtapes. I know it's two separate words, but in my head it can only ever be one word.
Mixtape. Love.