Fitz and I are dance packing because tomorrow’s moving day! He’s curious about where I’ve been all day and affectionate as ever, so I had to play this song for him. 

Labels: Fitz, happiness is, moving

Today I experienced one of the worst migraines I’ve had in months. Storm pressure. Lack of sleep from said storm system. It hit so fast I didn’t really see it coming. Like flipping a lighter open, pressing down on that wheel and click there’s a flame.

I took my medicine at the onslaught, but it was faster and I was nauseous for two hours. Threw up those pills with no desire to repeat that process.

Worse still The Voyager is stuck in my head. Not what I want there. Not today.

I spent 3 hours in bed and with no medicine my head did not get better. The cats only made it worse. But when I could sleep, my mind reached out for someone I have no right to anymore. It usually brings me a little sadness to wake from dreams of him. It happens often enough, as if the absence of each other has just amped up his dream presence. But today I’m leaning into it.

This person is the only person I’ve come across that I can stomach being around when I have a migraine. The only person who really brought me comfort without aggravating me. I feel awful about it, but I am extremely sensitive during a migraine and even the most caring people can scrape my ears with the persistent noise they unintentionally make. But he took care of me. Even if that was one of the worst things about being with me.

I miss that. All I can hope for is to find someone else that can comfort me on that level. And for cheaper, faster break throughs in medicine. And for my cats to have full tummies when a migraine hits.

Labels: migraine

The harrowing adventures of.......
....you and I,
When we were captains of submarines, made of steel


Your ghost....did you wrong.

Time to lay your head down. Replay this song in the claymation of your dreams.
Animation. Live action. Floating in the ocean with 20/20 vision.

How many times do you replay the song before you fall asleep?

Blood oranges and blooming orchids, what a weekend!

I have been fascinated with orchids since the end of high school.  Kings of Leon's Aha Shake Heartbreak album cover may have started it all.  My ex may have given me my first orchid, but I doubt I was able to keep it alive.  Somehow my mom inherited a lot of my gifted orchids, with a few leaves but no stems.

I went to visit an old friend in St. Augustine in the fall of 2017 and came back enthused to bring my collection of orchids to bloom again.  Last fall I bought a beautiful orchid on clearance row, which was strange because it clearly had several healthy buds close to blooming.  I was nervous to re-pot it, but wanted it to have the best of the best, so I bought a new pot, ideal potting materials, and it continued growing stems.  It started growing blooms at the end of January or beginning of February, and right after Valentine's Day it bloomed!

There's more though!  One of my older purple blooming orchids had leaves but no stems left when I returned to it.  It's grown a healthy stem and has small little purple blooms growing slowly. 

Also blood oranges are back in grocery stores and they are so sweet and delicious!

Labels: orchids

My coworkers passed on some kind of monster virus when I got back home. Within 24 hours my throat was sore & it hurt to breathe. Then it just went all runny noses from there. No one can take you seriously with a runny nose.

Daffodils started popping up all over Georgia. Except at my house. That’s cool. My mom got me tulips I can plant so, you know, in your face all you super lucky people with the very common but heartwarming daffodils. Next year I will have both.

I’ve been too sick to pay much attention to anything and missed a post from Tokyo Police Club yesterday about this classic first TPC song. My ex put it on a Valentine’s Day mix for me back in the day and I think it was the first I’d ever heard this song. It’s kind of hard to remember. But I love it. I’ve said many times in the past that TPC would make a great boyfriend for me. Not like just one of them and not like the whole band at once but like their music as a person. Hey, I’ve already warned you several times I’m loony.

Cut Cut Paste. Tessellate. Argentina. Simple Dude. They know how to make me swoon.

Is this blood his or mine, cause when we kiss our scars align. 

We’ve made things difficult in the past, so happy Valentine’s Day. 

Labels: happy valentine's day, Tokyo Police Club

I expected to find more Smashing Pumpkins posts in Libby, but there was just the one.

I had a great work trip and then I came home and apparently caught a virus. Everyone’s sick and it’s supposed to rain all month. Rainy months are so depressing. They are not the optimal time for moving into houses or going on first dates or good hair days. Bah humbug and all that jazz.

On my work trip, my boss used photos of our pets to fill the artwork in our booth & entrance pieces. Not photos of random animals or member photos or clinic photos but photos she surprisingly asked the staff for a few weeks before the conference. This threw me over the moon. I miss my pets so much when I travel. I make my mom send me photo updates. And here they were enlarged and with me a state away.

It was a great trip like I said, but it was a long one & I missed my boys so much. At home they fight over who can cuddle me. The only fight that waged there was how to make my hotel bed feel less sterile and more homey.

Before I left I took Tess to see her new house. She was...under impressed. And it was a beautiful, sunny day! I can tell how sad she is with me spending so much time away. It’s not like she knows it’s to keep her safe and give us more time together later.  When I came home her smile was contagious. Fitz even let her join the snuggles.

Fitz is just a whole other story though. Won’t let me out of his sight. Constant purrs. Kisses. Constant contact. We took pictures, of course we did, and now I have total proof that cats can hug. Q is more relaxed cool until you get under the covers & then he wants to be the little spoon. I am a crazy cat lady and it’s the best. Especially with a pup side kick.

Does this song bring all the middle school summer vibes or what? I heard it on a preview for Pen15. (Seriously, try watching any of those previews and see if you can keep it together. You can’t!)

Speaking of memory lane, I was in the clouds last September when Libby turned 10! Two digits! I feel like I owe her a ‘best of’ mix, except she already has one. Which is kind of weird cause I think it’s from only the first year. I looked back and I’ve only mentioned it twice, The Best of Libellus.

The original mix was a gift. The online version has 11 songs, I’m not sure if there are more on the CD. I can’t really remember if they were my like best writing or the entries that spoke out most to the creator or you know, the ones you want your crush to notice the most. I’ve forgotten so much, I really need a boring print journal where I can record the kind of stuff I’m always forgetting without being so public.

I wanted to use an Okkervil River song for a new post, but realized I had already used it. It fits the current post, but I should have tried harder to find a Phantom Planet song that fit the mood. Reading over the post I felt a little pride.

I’m reading a book about Alzheimer’s and a book set in senior year of high school when final decisions are made about college and getting serious. Beteeen that and the slow aging of my own body, I miss much about that time. I wish I had found my college therapist sooner so that we could have set a more sturdy ground for me to trample across. I had such horrible test anxiety that I’m surprised I never puked before one. I would have benefited so much more from a peer study group. I wish I had tried less to be there for the cool stuff and just made it happen goofing off and baking and reading in all of those beautiful scenic spots. Sucked up my fear & did the work to be a DJ. I was just so intimidated all the time.

Anyway, my writing wasn’t half bad. I think I might need to listen again & make a Ten Year Reunion mix.  I remember the first mix did not sound all that great together. It was very eclectic. Was the mix itself organized by order of favorite posts or sets of themes or just the best one could do with those songs? I should remember, I’m sure I’ve had the conversation a few dozen times over the past decade. But my memory fades and each time has that hot-cheeked, deep smile satisfaction feeling like it’s the first time.

Boys have been bringing that smile back to my face and I forgot about the giddiness that comes with it. Is this why it’s better to fall for new guys and not pursue the same one (over and over, on repeat, just like my dreams)?  I had this one post back in the day with some high and mighty talk against girls only talking about guys, but I was such a little liar. I loved talking about my crushes. It was the relationship stage I never really talked about.

There is that ever present expectation for me to settle down and start planning that family, but I feel like the first spring flower blooming after the last of the winter frosts. Tell me all the ways you really like me. Let me see what else you’ve got to offer.

Labels: Best of Libellus, crushes, make me a mix, mixtapes, Okkervil River, writing

I've been busy getting my life back in order, so I have not had much time for much else, including Libby.  My house would have gone faster with more people helping, or if I had taken off more time after the beginning of the new year, but I had a lot to focus on work and I can be kind of anal about how my house looks apparently.  (At some point someone will need to put me out of my misery and help me find a way to fix all of my dad's drip marks. Not everything can be covered with a photo. *sigh*)

I tried listening to audio books when it was just me painting, but those are not very motivational.  So for the most part I conceded to my dad and have enjoyed singing along to a bunch of classic rock favorites. 

Going from work to painting to shower to pets is exhausting though, so most days I only have the energy to read before bed.  Which lead to 11 books in January.  Though technically I finished a 12th book on my drive to work on February 1st.  I committed to 100 books this year. I'm hoping planning ahead and branching out my taste in audio books will help get me there.  I am including all of my gardening and bee keeping books.  I had to be realistic, there was just too much to do with a new house to start bees this year.  BUT I am going to start going to the monthly meetings so that I know what I'm doing when I start next year.  Plus damn the equipment can be pricey if you're buying it all at once.

I don't have any big trips planned this year after my work trip this month though, so I am planning to start a new furry venture this spring.  I know, I know, I have to be careful before I end up with six cats and two dogs and chickens and now my coworkers want me to get goats. No goats.  And I'm getting those damn bees before I'm getting chickens.

There is a lot of good you can do to be kind to animals and people who love their animals, many ways you never really think about.  Like you can donate your dog's blood to help out other dogs needing surgery & blood.  Tess is the right size, but she just passed the age requirement.  I think that's great, that the dog providing blood has to be in their prime to help the dog in need, but also to not abuse the gifting doggie.

I'm looking into a program where I can foster other people's pets.  There are all kinds of times when you can't have your pet with you (don't I know that).  I really can never truly thank Leo enough for his help in my time of need with Tess.  So I would like to extend this kindness to others.  I hope it will help Tess adjust to not living with another dog and give her someone to play with.  There is a specific timeline, so you only have the pet for so many weeks.  Some times helping others can be a great way to help yourself.  I'm excited to give it a try!