JUNE IS ALL MINE!!!!!!

I barely, by the skin of my bones, got my license today. However, since the new hologram is of your picture, it's not exactly the easiest to replicate. They are mailing me a hard copy in the next 30 days and until then I have a flimsy paper copy. The photo is unfortunate due to the rain, but my Identification Card doesn't expire until 2019 so I will just continue to use it.

I took June down memory lane to where I first learned both how to ride a bike and to drive a car. Strangely the former was much more embarrassing, but that is to be expected from a girl with no real balance. Anyway, I put some Phantom Planet in the stereo and the woo hoo's in Leader were perfect!

Reasons to come home more often now include:
1) Because I can drive!!!!
2) Family dinners that include homemade biscuits, chili, and oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies!!
3) My mom's chili is still much better than mine.
4) Charlotte cuddle time!!!

Besides the fact that I think the phrase "As easy as riding a bike," should die out, the drive was similarly a piece of cake. After you've waited over six months to drive there are two things that come naturally:
1) How to drive a car.
2) No pressing desire to drive above 40 MPH.

So I'm not quite ready for any heavy highway driving. On a more embarrassing note, since my car had been in the garage for the majority of the past six months, no one had driven it anywhere, at least not recently. My dad ran the engine yesterday to double check for me, but didn't take it anywhere. So as my mom and sister watched me back out of the driveway, waving with both pride and insecurity, the steering wheel froze and it was a most unfortunate event for everyone to watch. Thankfully it eased up quickly. Tomorrow June and I will return to Athens!!!

Labels: car, Charlotte, chili, driving, June, Phantom Planet

2K10 and post 201, whooo! I have become so short on time lately to the point where I miss Libby! I'm sure everyone else is waiting for some new spurt of crazy. I could tell you some crazy stories. Probably.

Instead I'll stick with reflections and revelations of 2010. If this were my mother speaking, we would probably also be having some revivals. I swear I inherited poor word choice from her. So reflections, change is inevitable. Not everything is preventable. Forgiveness is key.

The other week Jenn described me so well that it took my breathe away. I then forgot it, but I blame the wine for that. I'm going to have to have her repeat it, but it was basically I am very liberal with other people and their actions but I am almost prudish in my ideas for myself. It sounded a lot better than that. I just have my mother's faulty memory. I swear, my dad and I can tell her five times that we've taken care of something and two days later she will tell us she had no idea we did that and ask why we didn't tell her.

Realizations. Any way. I have the worst talent for speaking with guys I actually like. In fact, it appears I am much better at semi-matchmaking them with my friends. When conversations come to the part where you should share more or ask more I just bring up some friend I find amazing and then it's all down hill. I think this is why I can't keep school girl crushes for very long. Also why my feelings for someone can so easily waver.

Reflections. Nicki and I now have pretty much the same mentality toward guys. We are oblivious and happy that way. We have this way with friendships where we ignore any possible idea that a guy likes us. It is probably half because we really want guy friends and half because it's easier that way. And maybe because we're awkward enough to pull it off. Mostly because we're awkward. Also Nicki has this look. It is brilliant. You can get so distracted trying to decipher it that you lose all focus.

At the end of the day I want to have a nice home, where I can dance like a six year old in the kitchen and not feel judged, but be so completely happy. There are certain parts of parenthood that I can't wait for. Like teaching my kids how to dance and wiggle their little butts around like Charlotte's tail wagging when she's getting a doggy treat. And dancing like a six year old. And pretending to tolerate ladybugs. And cuddling with your own flesh and blood during the scary parts of Disney movies. Like Beauty and the Beast.

Labels: awkward, daydreams, realizations, reflections

I don't make resolutions. I figure it's because they're bound to disappoint you, and I already have my fill of disappointments. Having said that, I am working on maintaining a more optimistic attitude. I am tired of settling on this second choice life, preparing for my depression to kick in. I may not be able to control my disease but I can make use of the rest of my time.
I thought I still had a decent amount of hope left in me but the truth is I was giving up on my hopes. I just finished a book featuring a Top ten Things I Want To Do With My Life list, and number nine was 'Have a valentine.' I laughed at it at first and then my inner romantic took a big dramatic gasp at the type of person I've become. I became so okay with being single and embracing the life that came with it that I had lost a handful of my girlish tendencies, the stuff a girl is brought up to hope for. I brushed off the idea of having valentines and someone special to share a New Years kiss with. It was as if I brushed off having a near perfect life filled with success, reward and laughter simply because I couldn't find a way to defeat my biggest enemy.

I think it's time to keep hope alive.

All's I want is your fortress of tears to crumble
And oh girl, I'd tear 'em down myself
And oh girl, the stories they could tell

And oh girl, I'll build your wishing well
But I'm just sayin' hi
To your answering bell