I don't make resolutions. I figure it's because they're bound to disappoint you, and I already have my fill of disappointments. Having said that, I am working on maintaining a more optimistic attitude. I am tired of settling on this second choice life, preparing for my depression to kick in. I may not be able to control my disease but I can make use of the rest of my time.
I thought I still had a decent amount of hope left in me but the truth is I was giving up on my hopes. I just finished a book featuring a Top ten Things I Want To Do With My Life list, and number nine was 'Have a valentine.' I laughed at it at first and then my inner romantic took a big dramatic gasp at the type of person I've become. I became so okay with being single and embracing the life that came with it that I had lost a handful of my girlish tendencies, the stuff a girl is brought up to hope for. I brushed off the idea of having valentines and someone special to share a New Years kiss with. It was as if I brushed off having a near perfect life filled with success, reward and laughter simply because I couldn't find a way to defeat my biggest enemy.

I think it's time to keep hope alive.

All's I want is your fortress of tears to crumble
And oh girl, I'd tear 'em down myself
And oh girl, the stories they could tell

And oh girl, I'll build your wishing well
But I'm just sayin' hi
To your answering bell