It’s sunny and in the low 70’s in November, and it’s a Saturday. Today is going to be a good day!

I’m still not close to digging all of the fancy stones out of my front garden bed, but I’m finally finished with one side. I can add my Aster and the white lilies and maybe I’ll luck out and I can plant my other bulbs by the sidewalk too. 

Tess is excited about this endeavor. Possibly mostly because this gives her a better defense on guarding the front yard. We have a rooster that drops by to visit at least once a day and she has been harrumphing about not scaring him off. Last month he walked into my backyard twice. The first time I was mowing the lawn and that didn’t even scare him. The second time I opened the gate so that Tess and I could walk to the garage and there he was on the other side of the gate. Tess flew across the yard chasing him & he pouted in the very back once I caught her and shoved her into the house. He’s very people friendly and always comes up to the house if I pop out to take his picture. My mom’s worried about what will happen to him when it really gets cold, but he sticks to a routine when he passes by, I have to think he has a home & they just don’t care that he wanders. He’s smart enough to never go near the road. 

Meanwhile the cabbage and the kale are really starting to develop. The lettuce is all so much smaller and is going to take a lot longer to pick. My next set of radish is ready to pick and the pepper plants I’ve been bringing in have a few peppers and new flowers! I have some grow lights in my garage for the seedlings but I don’t think they could also keep all of the potted plants alive. The previous owners added a lot of storage shelves to the garage, enough to make it too difficult to fit a second car in there. I have no idea what their load bearing limit is though. I might be able to hang a larger grow light from at least one of them. 

This is still my favorite TPC song. Listening to their old stuff just makes me so happy. Good music, good gardening weather, snuggly cats, cheesy Mexican food, new glasses, new migraine medicine, new growth, new nail color, new fuzzy socks, and my power & utilities are on and I don’t have to call more people to complain to fix that stuff. The making of a great weekend in.

Labels: ardening, garden dog, rooster, yard work

What exactly does 'succexy' mean?  Successfully sexy?  So so sexy? The internet has a lot of theories that I don't actually care about.  

I was very pleasantly surprised how well I could recall the lyrics and then I had to start it over and turn up the stereo.  It's a great addition to my night drive playlist.  I think at some point in college I became so transfixed with "Live It Out" (hello depression, anxiety, the final stage of education, failed romantic relationships and also really coming into your sexuality all rolled into four years), that I lost the brilliance of "Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?"

I could listen to both albums from start to finish and then repeat.  It connects me to myself.  I used to fall in love with artists and listen to their whole album, on CD, on my CD player, and just transfix myself into their music.  That's all you had before the mixtape.  Then you had to hope your friends understood you well enough to craft something you did not continuously hit skip through.  Music was so much more limited.  Playlists were limited.  They were mixtapes, and the act of thoughtfully listening to each song and piecing the mix together was the actual gift. Now Spotify generates lists of music it thinks I will like and that's the most surprise I can experience outside of a crazy awesome new album drop.  That would have been my dream job, it was one of my many ideas, creating playlists for a monthly magazine or blog with a well written piece to explain when to listen to this mix and what mood to be in and what mood the mix will leave you in.  I never had the drive though to get discovered by any big company or to even throw myself into their intern wheelhouse.  I've played around with doing it on Libby, but then like, I'm not really promoting new visitors.  Or any visitors.

For now, I just wish a friend would make me a mixtape, or thoroughly crafted playlist, like the old days. Merry Christmas dream girl of days past.

Labels: missing pieces, music appreciation, playlist

This song has helped a lot with the anxieties of this year. It’s pretty fitting for this week. 

I’m not sure where I first discovered Adult Mom but I put them on my baby sitters club mix last year. This year I decided to dive into more female artists and went back and listened further. I love this album. 

What a year of female artists it’s been. New albums by FKA Twigs, Bully, Taylor Swift, and so many other good ones.

I’ve played them over and over for my garden. And Lizzo and Beyoncé and Jenny Lewis. The first frost came this week and it’s dark by 6:00pm so it’s a little harder to feel peace and relief in my garden work. At least the cats are back to snuggling with me.

I had a flash of a memory the other week but there are missing pieces that I can’t remember. I tried to sleuth it out in my email but there was no clear answer. It bothers me that I can’t remember the whole situation. 

My stomach feels sick when I think about the things I've messed up/It is exhausting to feel like you're bad at everything

But also...

it is okay/to feel doubt

Labels: anxiety, music appreciation