It’s been brought to my attention that I rarely listen to whole albums, so I’m putting more of an effort into trying that. Really finally noticed all the sheep references in Black Sheep Boy. Well you know, the first three songs at least.

I need to count sheep or something. Something to help me sleep through the night. Last night I had this dream, contextual a nightmare, that just made me shudder. I dreamt that my ex was married to someone else, which has been a recent development in a few of my dreams, but in this dream I was hosting him and his wife, his parents, some relatives, and his close old friends. Thankfully it wasn’t set in my actual house, but it was one of those red light streaming through the windows, late afternoon lazy weekend dreams. Everyone was sitting in my living room and his mom and a few aunts were wiping tears of joy out of their eyes. There I am with a tray of drinks, lemonade or iced tea. What the hell am I doing?

First, a big thank you to whichever coworker had a No Doubt song on their playlist this week. I put on Rock Steady and Tragic Kingdom today when I was cleaning and sorting through my storage bins.

I’m back to creating summer mixes and mixes of summers past and both albums take me back so easily. This song got stuck in my head and it’s so fitting because haven’t I just been all in my head this week? Can’t wait to get outside in the yard and outside my head.

*Editor’s Note: Maybe I just have the worst internet. Circa May 25th.

It doesn’t feel like this year has flown by, per se, but I’ve felt so much busier or consumed this year. First working on the house, then organizing the house to fit my needs, then trying to work the yard and garden, dating, making more of an effort to see my sister and her family regularly, experimenting with new things to grow. Like last weekend I had five things planned and I went and socialized at all of them.

But I’ve found it difficult to finish my books before they’re due back to the library, and if a few arrive at once I only concentrate on one. It’s so unlike me. Homecoming and Lemonade hit Spotify and more and more that’s all I could listen to. Everything else just grates a little and I can’t get into it.

It feels like I’ve gotten so busy keeping up being busy that I’ve ignored certain parts that ground me. I had been on the waitlist for months for these two books and they arrived at the same time, just as things start to pick up.

*Editor’s note - I wrote this on May 11th, but it saved as a draft and not as a post. Since last month was a ravenous beast, I’ve decided to post it after the fact.*