I'm still up thanks to the nausea, lovely side effect of a combination of my medication. The pain killers haven't done much to keep me asleep this time through. Typing with one hand to avoid stretching out my fingers and feeling anything move inside my cast.
Listening to the beauty in Rosebud again, what better way to let your feelings wash over you?
The cancer has spread in my grandmother. We don't know for sure if that's how it got there, spreading out from her head or if a new breed appeared on it's own. A cancerous tumor the size of a cantaloupe in her hip.
So fuck the pain killers, the nausea, the minor flaws in my plans. A woman I love is dying sooner than we all thought.
There's this feeling when I first wake up, when I don't recall it right away, and then I think of her and feel guilty for forgetting. I worry, is she still alive? Have I lost her?
But I pick my head up and try not to show it. And I had a good day. Someone totally cool wants to be on my team. She shared our passions with our main boss and he wants us to expand those ideas and create an eco conscious, green program not just for the office but the company. And the crazy thing is, they don't think my ideas are crazy. Going beyond recycling to composting, beyond bringing living plants into the office to planting trees yearly, beyond energy efficient to conserving energy and reducing waste.
I finished my book, The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker, a "soft sci-fi/YA dystopia" about drastic environmental changes that occurred when the narrator was a pre-teen. Sophisticated and well written, I often forgot the main character was also just a young girl at times. Finishing the book, seeing what persistency and innovation can lead you towards, I am so excited to walk down this road.
Labels: books, going green, Karen Thompson Walker, personal writing, recovery, recycling, Rosebud, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, The Age of Miracles, Vera
posted by Songs of Love at 2:02 AM