Surprise!  I am very wordy today.  I am blazing through my reading list, and yes I'm sure it's gotten old how much I talk about it.  But I love it and this is my blog, so deal with it or skip over it.

I am currently reading A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle, and I feel like this is the first paper back I've read in months.  I didn't realize how often I find hardback copies at the library.  So being a lightweight, I decided to pack it in my bag for the Shaky Knees festival.  Both friend groups didn't have plans to show up until later in the day, so after I watched the sets I wanted, if I wasn't sure about what to listen to next, I would go to my next stage, set up my blanket in the shade, hydrate, read, enjoy the breeze and listen to the music from neighboring stages.  It is not so awful to do things by yourself.

The book is great, the weather is great, the music is great.  It definitely beats standing around in a crowd, sweating, waiting for a band you like to come on stage.  It really beats standing in a crowd with nothing to say, sweating profusely, waiting for a band you don't really care about to come on stage.  I met a lot more nice people hanging out by themselves than I ever did in groups in crowds.  A real sweet girl offered me her spray SPF when she saw me trying to work in my thick white SPF 50 Baby and not get any on my brace*. (Ha!) A few nice ladies asked me where I bought my blanket.  (From a Thirty-one party, cotton/fleece on one side, water resistant nylon on the other, folds up and closes with velcro, has a handle and a pocket!)  I just felt a lot more kindness from others when I was by myself than I ever felt in a large group or as part of a couple.

A lot of older folks at this festival.  It feels like some strange societal reversal when the younger generation is the majority and more dominant, and the older generation is so sparsely represented and submissive to a younger generation.

*On a side note, I need advice on how to clean my brace.  Dirt is everywhere at the festival, coating shoes, feet, ankles, bags, phones, and yes, braces (but not the type in your mouth).  My brace is coated in sweat, dirt, sunscreen lotion, and a little garlic aioli sauce from my tots.

Labels: be positive, be present, be the good, books, find the good, library books, live shows, reading, reading challenge, reading list, Shaky Knees

This last week was pretty shitty.  It felt like nothing but work.  I don't want to accept or sign off on another meeting or event with only two months of planning.  That is not a smart idea.  It's so exhausting mentally. 

The whole week wasn't a waste though and I had one really good night come from it.  I stopped by my sister's house on the way back from the library and caught up with my sister and snuggled with my niece.  (Quick aside, I absolutely love that I have to pass my sister's house when I go to the library, because I feel like it helps me stay more connected to her.  Even if I don't always stop by, I do think of her and sometimes call.  Plus you may have figured out by now that I go to the library like at least once a week.)  Well that wasn't very quick.

Anyhow, my brother-in-law was out so it was just us girls, kinda.  I got to see my nephew wiggle and move around in my sister's belly.  We talked about her plans for after he's born and they showed me his room and so of course I opened his closet and pawed through his little outfits. 

My niece had a bath while I was there and we played with her bath toys and worked on saying "splish, splash."  She wanted me to splash my hands in the water with her and I tried but still can't bend my wrist.  She is a little sponge and after watching my hands tried to splash the water awkwardly like me.  God, I love her.  Spending that kind of intimate time with her made me even more ready for physical therapy.  I want so badly to pick her up, twirl her, carry her until my back hurts, be more playful with her, just be a better aunt to her.  Some things just take time. 

I had more to say on recycling and my shampoo and the books I'm reading, but I'm too tired to focus any longer.  I was sad this week was so draining because I listened to Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance audiobook and had some really good take-aways.  Maybe something will trigger all that and I will come back and write about it later.  I am currently a month ahead on my reading challenge, so I actually have a lot to say about certain books.  Alas, sleep.

Labels: books, family, reading, reading challenge, sleepy

This year I decided to keep my reading challenge at 50 books a year, which is "about" four books a month.  In January I read 5 books, and half of 2 books.  I thought for sure I would have finished Between the World and Me, but reading five pages takes an hour.  Anyone who can read this book in a day has no soul.

I was reading this section about poetry and the truth within it and I started reflecting on my own truths. I want to stay in the light.  I want to do good, or do better.  I don't have faith in my writing like I did when I was younger.  I don't really know how it could help others.  I can't stop thinking about my garden though, and composting, and bee keeping, and recycling even more.  It can be so easy to make something good in the world. I'm doing research for VSGreen to find a community garden that we can grow in and de-stress.  We had been looking at neighborhoods for convenience to where people live, but I think the office could really benefit from having it close to work.

This song, Your Loves Whore by Wolf Alice, came on while I was researching and it was kismet. Sure it's about a relationship and growing old,  but it made me think of doing what you love and choosing to be happy or choosing to do what makes you happy and focusing on the good.  You know, staying in the light.  If I keep building this life I love, then the light inside me won't fade.  My intense love for all the little things in my life can keep the light in my life.

Labels: books, gardening, reading challenge, stay in the light

I know I said 50 books in a year was ridiculous, but some of my favorite parts of this past year were discovering new authors and books.  So I kept my reading challenge at 50 books for new year.

I thought about what I said about being more social and lowering it to like 40 books, but I figured I would get upset with myself when I pass 40 for not believing in myself.  So I am believing in myself....and my obsession with books.

I have not picked up my newest book on tape yet, but I am reading three books this week.

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates.  A really short book that really makes you think.  A very slow read because it is so thought provoking.

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor.  YA Fantasy about a book loving guy in another world (?)  (to be determined) that goes after a lost city.  It's pretty thick, hoping it's a good page turner for the weekend!

Bonfire by Krysten Ritter.  I like her as an actress so I want to see how her mind works creating characters in print.  Girl has to face past when she returns home. Has potential but I put it down after the first or second page because I wasn't connecting with the language.  I just don't think it's best after a long work day.  If I have any more trouble I might just check out the book on tape.

Labels: be positive, books, books on tape, Krysten Ritter, Laini Taylor, reading, reading challenge, reading list, Ta-Nehisi Coates

Yes, I am watching another Hallmark Channel movie. The Mistletoe Inn is about an aspiring writer who goes to a writer's conference for the first time (and is in love with Christmas and then falls in love with a guy and never kisses the guy until the last scene in typical Hallmark Channel fashion).

Candace Cameron Burke reminds me of my dear friend Lindsay a lot.  All of her commercials and introductions are warm and sweet, like hot cocoa.

And now they have a movie about a bookstore.  I'm not sure who thought writers would be watching Hallmark Channel on Thanksgiving, but they are on point.  Our new heroine won't date a guy who doesn't read, she rides her bike with a helmet, and she's crafty.

In that spirit, Thrift Books has a sale running until Monday, buy 4 books and get 1 free.  Not only can you find rare books there (the chronicles of Nick Twisp and family in CD Payne's additions to Youth in Revolt), but they have great prices. They even have great books for kids on recycling!  Check it out! https://www.thriftbooks.com/

Labels: books, Hallmark Channel, Thrift Books

Found a gem in a YA book to ponder over. The book is called The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon.

"Human beings are not reasonable creatures. Instead of being ruled by logic, we are ruled by emotions. The world would be a happier place if the opposite were true," (Yoon 47).

Like logically I would have gone to bed early, had my dad drive me to work so that I would be early & catch up on my work there. Instead I stayed up organizing my email & creating a host packet and wound up tired as hell this morning. And yes, my parents are driving me to and from work while I'm in the cast. I can't turn my wrist and so my reaction time with my left hand is too slow to keep up with the aggressive drivers on my commute.

Anyway, I am all emotion. Even my memory is emotion based rather than fact based. Would logic all the way make me happier though? If logic incites happiness, an emotion, can it really be said it rules without it?

Labels: books, emotions, literary quotes, logic, Nicola Yoon, reading, reading challenge, reading list, The Sun is Also a Star

Hard to believe, but I am ahead on my reading challenge.  I have three more books to read and I will be at 50 finished books this year. I did a pretty good job of going back to finish those books that were harder to get through, but I still have 2 from this year.

The other educational journey I have been taking this year is into the deep fangirl heart of Beatlesmania with the Beatles Channel on Sirius XM.  I don't remember much of Peter Asher when I studied the Beatles in school (History of Rock Music in college and Beatlesmania, a talented and gifted (ha!) class in high school).  Peter Ascher, a fellow redhead, is the host of most of the segments and is a nerdy delight!  He tells all these great stories from when Paul lived with his family, from when Paul dated his sister Jane, and all these fantastical anecdotal stories about their recording process, stories behind some of the songs, and stories from his experiences with the band. 

Yesterday they were recording live from Abbey Road, telling stories about both the iconic Abbey Road Recording Studio and taking requests from fans as they waited to make the iconic crossing.  So today I spent the better part of the day listening to Abbey Road the album.  I remember the days I used to listen to it straight through in some sort of dream, happy state.  I was so naive to the Medley on Side Two.  I grew up in a different age, the digital age, and I grew accustomed to listening to those song separately, arranging my own interpretation. 

This summer I drove around with the windows down blaring a mix my friend had made for our Beatlesmania class.  Their songs cover so many emotions, they fit into my playlists so well.  They fit into my drive home so well. They are just the best and that justifies my rambling. 

I will come back and return to my book topic later when my brain isn't crashing.

Labels: books, reading challenge, The Beatles, The Beatles Channel on Sirius FM

I won't lie or pretend, this is going to be highly personal, and also probably highly emotional.


I'm still up thanks to the nausea, lovely side effect of a combination of my medication. The pain killers haven't done much to keep me asleep this time through. Typing with one hand to avoid stretching out my fingers and feeling anything move inside my cast.

Listening to the beauty in Rosebud again, what better way to let your feelings wash over you?

The cancer has spread in my grandmother.  We don't know for sure if that's how it got there, spreading out from her head or if a new breed appeared on it's own. A cancerous tumor the size of a cantaloupe in her hip.

So fuck the pain killers, the nausea, the minor flaws in my plans.  A woman I love is dying sooner than we all thought.

There's this feeling when I first wake up, when I don't recall it right away, and then I think of her and feel guilty for forgetting.  I worry, is she still alive?  Have I lost her?

But I pick my head up and try not to show it.  And I had a good day.  Someone totally cool wants to be on my team.  She shared our passions with our main boss and he wants us to expand those ideas and create an eco conscious, green program not just for the office but the company.  And the crazy thing is, they don't think my ideas are crazy.  Going beyond recycling to composting, beyond bringing living plants into the office to planting trees yearly, beyond energy efficient to conserving energy and reducing waste.

I finished my book, The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker, a "soft sci-fi/YA dystopia" about drastic environmental changes that occurred when the narrator was a pre-teen.  Sophisticated and well written, I often forgot the main character was also just a young girl at times. Finishing the book, seeing what persistency and innovation can lead you towards, I am so excited to walk down this road.

Labels: books, going green, Karen Thompson Walker, personal writing, recovery, recycling, Rosebud, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, The Age of Miracles, Vera

I am a very emotional person.  I love words.  I hate when people abuse them.  I am happiest when surrounded by well chosen words.  I am deeply influenced by words and by the thoughts that they command.

I just finished The Book Thief.  I just finished crying my eyes out.

Side Note: It's strange, and maybe a survival instinct, but I get these really awful migraines from crying. It feels like there's a storm cloud trapped in my head, all heavy grey matter crashing up against my skull.

Memorable quotes from tonight's portion of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak:

"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness, too.  That was writing" (Zusak 524-525).

"After more than two hours, Liesel Meminger started writing, not knowing how she was ever going to get this right,  How could she ever know that someone would pick her story up and carry it with him everywhere?
No one expects these things.
They don't plan them" (Zusak 525).

"I have hated the words and
I have loved them,
and I hope I have made them right" (Zusak 528).


Since music brings words to life and gives them a medium to dance in and since the music is always playing in my head, here are a few lyrics to ruminate on as well:

However you feel,
Whatever it takes,
Whenever it's real,
Whatever awaits,
Whatever you need,
However so slight,
Whenever it's real,
Whenever it's right.

- Spit on a Stranger by Pavement

Labels: books, I see the sunshine in your eyes, Markus Zusak, Pavement, The Book Thief, writing

This song has gotten stuck in my head.  The ta da da da da da da da da and the guitar.

But that's besides the point, because I won! The lottery or a nice trip or a new car would all be nice, but those are not the kind of contests that I enter.  Nope, I am all about the paperback.  Read It Forward has a few cool themed contests, but also quite a few single book contests.  You're all like, okay, but is it any good?  What did you win?






The Martian was good, good enough to make an okay movie out of, but I was not really thrilled to enter an Andy Weir contest.  Until I saw the name of the book, Artemis. The stars they do align.

According to Goodread's sad reading challenge meter I am two books behind.  October has not been an easy month to read through.  I have been using my alternative methods, i.e. books on tape, to keep myself from sliding too far off course.  Reading Artemis doesn't seem like a way to help me keep up my challenge timeline, so it might be a December/January read.  Still pretty exciting!

I have decided to go on a 14 hour in all road trip next weekend to visit a friend and am stocking up now on books on tape from the library to keep me entertained.  The best books on tape are thrillers because they keep your mind sharp as you try to solve the puzzle.  I just finished Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.  I enjoyed both versions of the movie adapted from the book and the book on tape was slower in parts but more thorough and educational. I have added the book on tape for The Girl Who Played with Fire, also by Stieg Larsson, to my library reserve list to enjoy on my roadtrip along with The Alice Network by Kate Quinn and The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman.  I wish I had known about the trip earlier because Ready Player One by Ernest Cline would have been a perfect roadtrip book.  I highly recommend it.

Labels: andy weir, artemis, book recommendations, books, Brooklyn Baby, Ernest Cline, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, goodreads, Kate Quinn, M.L. Stedman, reading challenge, Ready Player One, roadtrips, Stieg Larsson

I really should be in bed already.  I think this pretty much every night.  That and Why is it so damn hot?

I have been devoting a lot of time to reaching my reading goal this year which I was naive enough to leave at the recommended 50 and not adjust like a lot of my smarter friends with social lives.  This leaves me trying to read just over 4 books a month which can get a little hectic.  I am 25 pages away from finishing my 4th for August, a week early.  I have been one book (or half a book) behind being on target for my goal but that stops tonight.

I might feel like shit leaving the house at 7:00am tomorrow, but I'll feel like shit anyway because I hate mornings and I hate how school traffic makes you feel like you could be 10 to 15 minutes late easily.

Yay goals!!!!

Labels: books, goodreads, reading

Despite lack of evidence to the contrary, Libby has not been on hiatus.  I've been reading a lot to keep up with my reading goals for the year and also because reading is awesome and books are magical time machines that take you back and forth through time but also sideways to different realities.  There have been so many amazing passages that I have bookmarked to share, but I don't have as much down time lately to post them.  Also, as much as I love calendars and coordinating, I've never made an effort to update Libby with content on a time table.

I felt like Manchester Orchestra tonight but I have so little on this computer.  This song spoke to me, and all the books in my life right now, but then I listened to Simple Math and I'm like, that's me too.

What if I've been trying to get to where I've always been? 

And then, out of left field, it's Eminem for the rest of the night.

Labels: books, Libby, Manchester Orchestra, reading, reading challenge

“What other reason might I have for writing this - ridiculous journal of an aging concierge - if the writing did not have something of the art of scything about it?  The lines gradually become their own demiurges and, like some witless yet miraculous participant, I witness the birth on paper of sentences that have eluded my will and appear in spite of me on the sheet, teaching me something that I neither knew nor thought I might want to know. This painless birth, like an unsolicited proof, gives me untold pleasure, and with neither toil nor certainty but the joy of frank astonishment I follow the pen that is guiding and supporting me.”

 ― Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Labels: books, literary quotes, Muriel Barbery, playing plans on repeat, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, writing process

Sleepy Fitz is mad at me because we came upstairs to go to bed before 12 and I still haven't fallen asleep. That and my squealing has woken him up. My two new obsessions? Listening to Cults on repeat and reading David Levithan's new novel, The Lover's Dictionary. I was pretty tired and wanted to fall asleep but reading this book was such a better idea. The narrator is unnamed, but an assumed male. Except for the definition of abstain, his lover could be a male or female. And really, abstain could be his lover's joke. I like not knowing, because I can apply the definitions to myself, and that makes it even more personal. I feel like his definitions encompass me, but I fit in casually, swapping between being the narrator and being the lover.


encroach, v.

The first three nights we spent together, I couldn't sleep. I wasn't used to your breathing, your feet on my legs, your weight in the bed. In truth, I still sleep better when I'm alone. But now I allow that sleep isn't always the most important thing.

- D.L.

Labels: a happy sadness, books, Cults, David Levithan, encroach, Fitz, sleep, The Lover's Dictionary

I want to get back to everything I've been missing, but at the same time, I want change. Badly.
This past year I've mentioned change over and over and over again. I changed for the worse, I got better. I wanted to feel involved, and then I wanted my space. I wanted to write about hope and then I got better instead. The journey isn't over. I've put some additions on the old book list and now I have around 250 to read. I don't have enough of a summer for all that. But it will be good to move along my book list. The Jane Austin Book Club inspired me. But alas, it's the same idea we've been tossing for the past two years. They read what another wrote years ago, we yearn to read what we've wrote, just ten minutes ago.

I've begun a summer mixtape trade thing with my coworkers at Bolton. The idea was birthed around Eat Smart and from there Jessica and I have nurtured it. So far there are just over 30 people participating. One girl asked me if I was on prom committee or student government in high school, and all I could do was give her the strangest look. I know where she was coming from, but she obviously does not see where I've come from. Maybe I'm misrepresented at work. I'm always as polite as I can be, I never really interject into big conversations, if I didn't develop a friend group I would have been doomed to be that quiet girl no one notices who gets stuck with jobs like dusting the plants. I think before the mixtape, I had no voice at Bolton.

Well anyway, if I can organize 30 people to exchange mixtapes I should be able to get 5 or 6 girls together to read poetry and short stories, right? And if I can read my writing to people with far greater talent than myself, I should be able to be my awkward caring self at work.

Labels: Bolton, books, change, Jane Austen Book Club, mixtapes, writing, writing group