In other news, I may now have a sensitivity to poison ivy. I know, one more thing I needed. I moved my compost bin to mow that part of the yard and apparently picked poison ivy and then wiped hair out of my face aka spread poison ivy to my chin, check and below my eyebrow. So hats & headbands are a must?

Last time it fucked with me for almost two weeks. This time I’m not waking up scratching my skin off, so that’s a positive. On Sunday I actually woke up with Q in my arms. My alarm to water the garden went off and I realized I had this little big cuddle cat purring against my chest. I snoozed the alarm twice. The garden survived.

Also, also I was listening to Big Star which makes me think of Pavement, well really I think of Rob Sheffield and he makes me think of Pavement. I can’t remember how I found his book. I feel like I read it over summer break.

I see the sunshine in your eyes
I’ll try the things you’ll never try

I feel like Lindsay would know. We spoke for so long tonight and I feel like I got a piece of myself back. I miss her all the time but never reach out. So I did and now I want to be 20 again looking for all the possibilities. The best friendships permeate time and space. I think she also introduced me to The Time Traveler’s Wife so that analogy is a little bit kismet.

Labels: friendship, missing pieces, Pavement, poison ivy

Heaven is a truck
It got stuck
On the breeze

-  Heaven Is a Truck by Pavement

They lay me flat on the bed of the truck.  Packed me in as tight as they could.  I didn't look behind us.  I couldn't really.  Instead I looked up.  I watched the sky through the tree tops.  I don't think it's a view seen by most.

It's beautiful.  Not jaw dropping like the cliffs or joy inducing like the waterfalls.  The sky and the trees and a truck and me.  I thought my Grandma might be there, just behind the clouds.  I prayed to her, but I didn't get a response.

It's not a fear of dying.  It's an understanding.  I messed up.  There will be consequences.




Two years later and I'm laying on my back again.  This sky is a bit different. Stars mapping out constellations fill the sky and the air is lighter, one deep breath away from winter.

They're going to lay me down in the room with all the lights.  They're going to spread my arms out on my own personal cross.  And then it's lights out until we meet again.

Labels: Heaven Is a Truck, Pavement, personal writing, prose poetry, writing

I am a very emotional person.  I love words.  I hate when people abuse them.  I am happiest when surrounded by well chosen words.  I am deeply influenced by words and by the thoughts that they command.

I just finished The Book Thief.  I just finished crying my eyes out.

Side Note: It's strange, and maybe a survival instinct, but I get these really awful migraines from crying. It feels like there's a storm cloud trapped in my head, all heavy grey matter crashing up against my skull.

Memorable quotes from tonight's portion of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak:

"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness, too.  That was writing" (Zusak 524-525).

"After more than two hours, Liesel Meminger started writing, not knowing how she was ever going to get this right,  How could she ever know that someone would pick her story up and carry it with him everywhere?
No one expects these things.
They don't plan them" (Zusak 525).

"I have hated the words and
I have loved them,
and I hope I have made them right" (Zusak 528).


Since music brings words to life and gives them a medium to dance in and since the music is always playing in my head, here are a few lyrics to ruminate on as well:

However you feel,
Whatever it takes,
Whenever it's real,
Whatever awaits,
Whatever you need,
However so slight,
Whenever it's real,
Whenever it's right.

- Spit on a Stranger by Pavement

Labels: books, I see the sunshine in your eyes, Markus Zusak, Pavement, The Book Thief, writing