Recently I watched this short video about high functioning anxiety and how it's perceived.  I've had an array of anxiety throughout my adult life and that general message, I'm not good enough, always chanted in the background. 

At the beginning of last year I was overwhelmed by it -  coping poorly to a slew of car accidents, avoiding simple conversations at work, ignoring text messages for no reason at all. My work life overwhelmed me the most.  Anxiety attacks became more common and more fierce.  I quit my job to relieve some of the tension, but instead the anxiety intensified.  There were quite a few days where it felt like someone or something was punching my gut and I felt too sick to eat.  My health insurance ran out and soon so did my supply of medication.  I fell into an awful pattern of being in too much pain from migraines to stay awake during the day, so I slept most days and spent the nights awake alone, bored, and still not coping with my anxiety well. 

When my schedule finally aligned I decided to fully stop all of my medications. I gave my body time to cleanse and then I restarted the only pill I really, really, need to survive - synthroid.  I met with my doctor before restarting synthroid as I knew I would have to adjust my dose and she explained that if your dosage is no longer working for you that your body can present certain side effects.  So basically my medical history can all be linked to the failure of one gland.

My other medication was helping when everything was in control, but it felt like it weighed me down further when my anxiety was unmanageable. I restarted my birth control as well, which is known to trigger migraines, but I needed to regulate my menstrual cycle again. I used to praise it for providing such brief periods, but it's true superpower is eliminating the excruciating pain.  Soon I'll have my blood tested again and I will try a new dosage and from there I will make my decision to take any other medications.  I'm praying that the proper dose will help me manage the anxiety.  I'm trying the best that I can to get my life back in order and eliminate the extra stress that triggers it.

Labels: anxiety, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, migrianes, synthroid

I've noticed a change in my weight and an increased sense of fatigue over the past few months that I have been struggling to resolve.  After a few months I realized my thyroid could be to blame and I simply needed to change the dosage of my thyroid medication.  Well an ultrasound, some blood work, and a lot of waiting later I found myself seeing an Endocrinologist this morning.

Here is what I learned.  Although I've suffered from hypothyroidism since the third grade, some where along the way I developed another disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.  Yes, it is named after a cool Japanese scientist.  Basically, there is a hormone in your brain that is supposed to coexist with your hormones from your thyroid, but the hormones from my brain are attacking my thyroid.  The normal level for these hormones are 35 or less.  I have 544.  Cool.

The disease has a lot of side effects and I have a history with seven of the sixteen symptoms.  One of the few I don't have is hair loss.  However, now my dad is convinced he has this too.  Doubtful, because it is 5 times more likely to occur in women.

The super cool thing though?  These awesome ladies also have it:

• Kim Cattrall
• Jillian Michaels
• Oprah Winfrey

There's nothing I can really do about all of this but stay positive.  It's not life threatening and I've already been living with the worst of these side effects.  The only scary one left on the list is infertility, but my family has absolutely no history of this so I'll just continue to pray that when the time comes I won't have to worry about this.

The more you know.

Labels: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, hypothyroidism, thyroid