I can't tell if it's my depression setting in or if I'm finally starting to think rationally. I keep making plans that fail, and even though it's usually circumstantial, it usually has some affect on my day. The generated effect is that feeling of being behind. Behind on service, behind on friendship, behind on school work, behind on progress. I have unknowingly created a playlist about failure, and even though I've come to realize this, I still want to listen to it. I know what failure sounds like, but for some reason hearing the pain through Tegan and Sara, feels good.

I'm trying, I'm trying to drink away the part of the day
That I cannot sleep away.
- Polar Opposites by Modest Mouse

I'm used to jumping to conclusions about people, classes, and certainly expectations.
I'm used to having a daydreamer perspective about the things that I want.