Maybe it's because this song has been stuck in my head lately. Tonight when I had to ride the bus home from class this song came on and I actually started bobbing. It was still light out and some scruffy guy sat next to me on the bus but I was lost in transitions and bobs and silently singing along. I'm becoming that girl, but it's like I'm stuck in some short film and I just don't care.

Anyway, the bus was turning onto Broad and I had a revelation of my own emotions. But let's start with a precursor:

Ever notice that it's not until you are avoiding someone that you start to think you see them everywhere? It's like suddenly everyone has the same height, body build, and facial features as the one person your heart sinks at the thought of seeing. There's someone like that in my town. I've been avoiding him with all hopes for a few months now and on the bus today I realized I really want to see him.

Okay, time for the emotional revelation: I really want to see him across some loud street corner among huge crowds of people. I want it to be really loud and I don't want to say anything to him or have to speak to him. I want to be having a cute hair day and be wearing a cute cardigan across a busy street and just shrug at him. Well, then get on a bus or into a car or disappear into thin air. This whole time I've been so unsure of how I'd act around him or if it'd be uncomfortable, like a Stars song, but I just want him to see me for who I am and walk away. Too good for fucking you.

Labels: cardigans, I'm the one who got away, It's because you're an asshole, songs stuck in my head