I thought all of my childhood-high school files had been deleted when my parents got their new desktop five plus years ago, but this past week I was searching for something and there were all my old photos. (Like most teenage girls I saved my photos with really obnoxious, obvious names. "Sleepy Jennifer." "A star is born." Seriously, I was once fifteen.)

I ran across these photos from a Paolo Nutini show I went to with Red. The one where he was so drunk that he took forever to come on stage & was pretty belligerent through his performance. I mean, he is Irish, and that is not an easy accent to follow when someone's talking fast, but still. We all knew. Sixteen and never had a drop and I still knew.

It was my first digital camera. My baby. I bought it my sophomore year, before my friends had one. Carried it around like a cell phone I was so attached. But the lighting wasn't great, and it wasn't what digital cameras are now. Those photos are all blurry, even if just a little. We met Paolo & his band after the show. I still had that awful uncool haircut where it was like a very thick, long bob. Love donating to Locks of Love, but I really don't like short hair on me. Plus that was a pre-straightener era when my hair was frizzy & big all of the time because of the humidity. Totally not one of the reasons guys never approached me.

Anyway, Paolo has some beautiful songs on his first album, but his performance that night was a sad mess. His big issue with performing in the US was being 19 & not a legal age to drink on stage. So he protested with a mean pre-game & broke our hearts instead.

Million Faces played on shuffle today when I was driving home. It turns out it is one of the few songs I can sing at my normal register and not butcher. So I now officially have two songs I am willing to sing in front of people. The other is When I'm Sixty Four. Paul and I do a nice melody, no biggie.

Paolo used to talk about his grandfather a lot. His family is Italian, so I felt a connection with his music and my own grandparents. This weekend is going to be hard. How fast can a disease wipe a person out? How big can a heart stretch with love? Where will this take me? I am here Lord.

Labels: be the good, concerts, live shows, Paolo Nutini, photography, stay in the light