I had a bad day at work today, and at the same time a good day.  I really love my office, it's such a great fit for me.  The team I have there is supportive and creative and some of the kindest people I've ever met.  They get me too, which is why today was also a good day.  They stepped in as soon as they saw me go pale and quiet and they didn't complain about their own giant work loads at all.

The bad part of the day was this minor panic attack I had when I realized my low key group would give me the most stress in the spring.  They traditionally do a lot of the planning on their own and I do more administrative tasks for the event.  Except now they've decided to do Disney in March and they already have a contract they wanted me to review and it is less than 90 days away!

breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, stop panicking, breathe.

I knew the most stressful times would be in October (when I had five meetings in a row) and in December when I had to finalize four contracts for the spring, now five.  I finished two, one will most likely push into January, and now two in progress.

I don't ever talk to my friends about this kind of work stuff.  Maybe I need to find a meeting planners group to do a cocktail & complaints hour.  Sip & Paint & Problem Solve?  I can just see myself with the poofy scarf, trying to stay balanced on a stool, sipping back my coke no ice with a straw that won't stay down and discreetly passing around a bag of chewy sprees to get rid of all the greens.

Everything is so diaries entry boring on Libby these days.  I haven't read much lately, haven't come across any real inspiring quotes.  There were a few really good lines in my book on tape, but I listen to it when I drive and can't write it down.  Hoping Practical Magic will inspire me like The Magicians did.

We're supposed to have white noise machines at work but I can hear everything all the time.  I ordered a portable sound machine that can generate fan noises, white noise and ocean sounds.  As soon as it arrives I am taking it to the office.  I wish I had it today.  Trying to squelch a possible migraine with this calming mix I made a few years back.  It's just making me tired though.

Labels: anxiety, meeting planner, meetings, panic attacks, playlist, work