I like to say that, “Run Devil Run” and also “Get Behind Me Satan.” Mostly when I need to push the darkness away. I’ve even caught myself singing it to my plants. Gardening can be a very reflective hobby and sometimes you don’t want to remember. Especially when it’s anxiety about work. Sometimes it comes on like a panic attack and there is no logic behind it. It’s a headspace that I have trouble climbing out of. 

I don’t remember my anxiety being this bad when I was younger. But maybe it’s because I didn’t have real responsibility. You know who might know? The therapist I can’t afford. 

Why can’t mental wellness be more affordable? Although what am I saying, when epipens have become a luxury. 

So, I invested in a different therapy. Four raised beds in my favorite color. It looks a little flashy, but it seemed kismet. 

First comes raised beds, then comes bees, then comes wildflowers & honey & fresh food & color & dirt & sunshine & rain & roses & dahlias & freckles & green green green!