I’ve been thinking of my cousin a lot lately. She was one of the first in my extended family to reach out to me online. I hardly knew her before then, just another cousin from another side of the family who spent weekends and summers together with the others. She embraced my sister when my mom married in. She let me tag along. 

Then Facebook came along and I could hear about her day to day life. The struggles of her friends. The hope she gave to everyone she knew. I could know as much as my sister. I was equal. I was on her mind some days. She was just so sweet. So kind. 

I don’t get how someone could have killed her. Sudden deaths don’t feel right. I really don’t get how the police believed her killer’s lies. Someone she knew. Someone who had soured, but she wasn’t scared of him, yet. I think of that all the time. How unsafe the world can be. I don’t know if I could picture her with kids, but I always thought she’d be a great aunt. A true sadness for all her brothers’ kids. 

Yesterday was her birthday and my heart aches to see it’s been 6 years. 

Labels: grief, Sorry For Your Loss