I’m so worried. I’ve been praying for a friend in a dark place, but it doesn’t seem like enough. I prayed with his family and offered everything I can, but no one knows. It sounds like he tried to take his life.

Before I heard the news I had a migraine like the kind I used to get. Medicine wasn’t helping. It lasted all morning, all day, all night. And I just thought it was so unbearable. The pain was in my head and all around and felt like it was never stopping. I realized if it didn’t go away or if it came back, I wouldn’t survive it. I would have had to end it myself. When I got through that I made an appointment to try new medicine. 

So his pain isn’t lost on me. But his is from PTSD and it haunts him in ways I’ve never suffered. I feel foolish trying to be strong and would I feel like a fool if I share my story with them. 

So here I am running my mouth. Trying to not hurt others. Trying to come to terms with my weakness. Trying to be solid enough to be a good friend. 

Father please elude my transgressions

Let them blow in the wind like sand

Cause all of my deeds you know them

Use me as your vessel