Thursday, February 23, 2023

I've been so tired and have so much to do that I forgot to come back here and decompress. 

I have Colorectal Cancer, Stage 3, which means it has spread to a few surrounding lymph nodes.


Radiation will fry my ovaries so the past 2+ weeks I've been doing IVF treatments to freeze some of my eggs before the rest are decimated. 

They found 23 follicles at the start of this cycle, and so far 12 have matured enough to be collected as eggs. We're waiting to do the egg retrieval on Monday, and I have another ultrasound scheduled tomorrow to see how many more have matured. Due to my age, not all of the eggs retrieved will be viable, but hopefully at least 60% will be. 

The eggs have to be frozen for a minimum of two years, and then I can use them.  My doctors have all been so great and have sent me different links for financial assistance programs, but I'm still spending so much money to do this. So I'm not wasting this.  If I don't get the romantic partner I've been waiting for by then, that will just have to be fine and okay.  Because I'm not going to let this experience escape me.  

Meanwhile I've been waiting over two weeks for the results to my genetic testing. If I have any of the genetic mutations linked to colon cancer then my doctors will be adjusting my treatment plan based on previous studies of those mutations. 

The cats have been all over me, but Gemma is confused.  Animals can smell cancer, one new friend's horse started sniffing his butt before they found his tumor and then she started sniffing it again right before the found out the tumor was back.  Quintus has me on constant purr therapy, and Winston won't let me go to the bathroom alone.  Fitz has been purring more than normal, but he's mostly been my rock, wanting to be with me all the time, and sleeping in his crate when I'm not around.


                                                                                                                                                                                     

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posted by Songs of Love at 8:01 PM | 0 comments
Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Fall is here.  Not because the calendar ticked into September.  Not because school is back in session.  Not because the stores are selling Fall items now.  It is officially fall because my big floof cat wants to snuggle in bed at night again. September 22nd was far too long for him to wait.

I once dated this guy who was not a cat person.  Or a pet person really.  (A red flag that was hard to ignore.)  He came over one fall day and was hanging out on my couch when the big floof proceeded to cuddle him.  He was shocked and surprised at how soft the floof was.  Was it a red flag for him when I later held up the big floof next to my face and said "Imagine falling asleep next to him"?  

As my fellow office cat owner and I like to say, "The only reason people think cat owners are crazy is because they haven't owned a cat yet."

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posted by Songs of Love at 1:31 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, March 1, 2018
The next two weeks work is going to crush me, BUT my first three seeds sprouted today!!! Day 4: two cabbage sprouts & 1 broccoli sprout.

Annnnnnnnnd I finished Little Fires Everywhere before it was due back, which is awesome because there are now 56 people waiting for a copy from the library.

So I'm basically going to turn into a little hermit until I get through this first meeting.  Powering though my reading list, watching my garden grow, trying out a few face masks, take a short break from make-up, and cuddling with the cats until I have to fight them to get off the book I'm reading.  There really should be an amendment to the phrase, "This is why we can't have nice things."  Just add on: why we can't have house plants, why we can't have snacks on the couch, why we can't read in peace, why we need to lint roll everything, but also, why we want to snuggle all the time."

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posted by Songs of Love at 8:47 PM | 0 comments
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Fitz is the very best cat that ever lived.  He is, simply said, the fucking best.  The End.

I spent a few hours with Tess today and she is such a total sweetheart.  And wonderful with other animals.  And so smart but not in the getting-in-trouble kind of way.  I want so badly to introduce the two and give Fitz the gift of a permanent housemate.  Someone to play with and nap with during the day while I'm at work.  Someone who is not Roman.

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posted by Songs of Love at 11:55 PM | 0 comments