I am far too consumed with playing catch-up to indulge my imagination these days. Even the conversations I have with myself in the car have become dull.

My department at work is going through some growing pains, so I feel like I have even more to do. Just as I was adjusting my work flow to train the newest "new person," our receptionist quit. So last week was a waste. Our new girl is great though. I really hope this week I can actually train her.

I know no one really cares about my work woes, but what else did you expect? I could go on about how I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment but it still doesn't seem clean, but we all have those little distractions. What I really need is to conquer my to do list:

1. Get new phone ASAP!
2. Get new car, eventually.
3. Reschedule Fitz's vet appointment.
4. Make a vet appointment for Tess. +get her nails trimmed.
5. Give Tess a bath with her new "less shedding" shampoo.
6. Get my hair cut.
7. Make an eye doctor appointment. +get lenses for my new glasses.
8. Return clothes. +get invited to a fancy social occasion to wear new dresses.
9. Sign Tess up for advanced obedience lessons. +sign Fitz up for kitty karate.
10. Pick up prescriptions +learn super nice pharmacist's name.
11. Make trip to visit Nadia. +reschedule trip to Athens?

The list goes on and on. I called my Grandma for advice on her Summer Squash Casserole (it was delicious!), and she kept asking all these leading questions. Like why don't I have a boyfriend. She then tried to persuade me that "there's someone special out there for me/I will meet the one/the one will magically appear/this is all meant to be/the one, the one, the super great invisible one!" Yeah, I told my grandma that he must be invisible then. I should really lay off. I mean I made her laugh, but I know that this just means she is going to pray extra hard for me to have a love life now. I should have just gone along with it and pushed her "much needed prayers" onto someone with more visible concerns.

Instead her prayers are being emitted day and night to work against my stubborn persistence. Sure there are certain parts of relationships a girl could get used to, but I identify more with being single. With everything I am neglecting on my to do list, it would really be just thoughtless to add one more thing to my schedule for me to neglect.

Plus there's the whole side of me that still thinks I'm too damaged to be in a relationship. No one wants to walk into that shit. I told my sister the drugs must be working because I think I'm happier. Things don't depress me as much, or at least, that feeling is shallow and dissipates quickly with the whirlwind of things I should be concerned with. I gave my Neurologist my business card. There may be nicer doctors out there, but they're not human and/or covered my any insurance plan I've ever had. He listens to me like I'm a real person, not crazy or sick or another appointment to get out the door. My migraine count is extremely low, my anxiety is still present but not crushing me into my shadow, and I have a real person sleep schedule now!