I don't get how I keep it together at work.  I think maybe it's the dead look I get that people confuse for stress and being tired.

The rain gave me a migraine and left me unable to take Tess to the dog park.  I went out for a strangely early dinner today and I felt so distanced from everyone and everything.  I can't make up my mind until I decide to do something and realize it's not what I want at all. I think I've been here too long and it's time to transition in to the next phase.

Speaking of transitions, I just realized that it is almost one of my sibling's birthday.  I read Cosmo's article about the lead singer of Against Me! and her journey as a transgendered person and I still can't believe this is an article that I can find so much familiarity in.  It's all so weird, but none of that is even what's really bothering me.

I feel backed in a corner.  This is how I should react.  This is something I should take on.  Even if it's in the opposite direction of where I'm heading.  It's everywhere - work, friendships, family, my friend's upcoming wedding, when I should move, when I should take Tess home, when a friendship is over.

I wish it would stop raining and the pollen would go away and I could just twirl around and around and around in the sun until I get too dizzy and need to lay down.

Labels: Against Me!, dogs, migraine, raining, Tess, transgender, transitions, We used to be friends.