It is such a strange concept to me that people can wake up and not remember their dreams.  They can have such positive and negative impacts on my days.  They inspire me.  They can fill me with rage and motivation and ass kicking certainty.

I think this song speaks to my dreams.  You wake up and you feel one way.  You do all these things and you still feel that way. 

When I was younger I hated waking up when I was having a really good dream.  I would tell my mom I had to finish it and then I would fall back asleep and attempt to finish it.  I had a lot of dreams where I could fly, so clearly that was better than SAT prep first thing in the morning.

In college I had dreams about these perfect guys, maybe not perfect, but perfect for me.  The dreams had all that initial fall in love montage of feelings, that feeling when "are we going to kiss?" is the most exciting question in the world and your heart beats faster and you can't wipe that dumb smile off your face and you just feel warmer.  Like love is a feature you wear.  Those dreams put me in such great moods.  I was in college, I was young, I could have that glance across North Campus moment with anyone.

These days my dreams all center around my current doubt.  My cats show up in my dreams sometimes.  It's so odd, but it calms me in the dream too.  Unless they're in danger and then I am the angriest mama bear you've ever seen.  Some times Tess shows up in my dreams, but she's never in danger.  She's always just that smiling silent type. :)


One thing about my dreams - they make me so fucking vulnerable. The other night I dreamed that my two front teeth cracked halfway up and I was going to lose both teeth and I felt so ugly.  I was working from home and I still put makeup on to fight that feeling.

I'm not going to let these dreams keep me down.  I am not going to succumb a whole day's mood to them.  I'm not going to focus on the negative or try to investigate the negative possibilities.  I am, you guessed it, going to do my best to stay in the light.

Labels: be positive, dreams, emotions, I miss you., stay in the light