Coming home tonight, I received true smiles from both dogs.  I was told Tess moped by the front door but did not believe she missed me this much.  Following me from room to room, she casually looks over at me and smiles this open mouth, teethy, child's smile.  Like her eyes are pure love and they just say, I'm sleeping in the big bed tonight!

She's actually kind of nodding off.  I think she's exhausted from waiting up for me all these nights.

Quintus has tracked me down and made sure I rubbed his face ten times in a row. 

I would not be home without my pets.  They make me feel more like myself instantly.  They cheer me up and they love me like I'm worth a damn.

My grandmother passed on Monday afternoon.  She was a month and a day shy of 84.  She came from the kind of scary I could not dream up.  Always in danger of her mother, which usually put her in danger of a man.  She survived. She persisted.  She built a family that would never have to suffer for love or peace or a place to rest their head.

Her love was better than anything that could be taken from that house.  Except maybe her cooking.  Her cooking was love and heaven and strength all in one.

I hopefully won't be traveling anymore for a while.  I will have a chance instead to visit my best friend to belatedly celebrate her son's birthday and belatedly hug her until her boys have to pull me off of her because there's no other reason to separate. And a chance to visit my dear friend and her family and have baby time again.  And a chance to go shopping to find the perfect books a 2 year old needs to build the radest library. However, she did just receive If You Give A Cat A Cupcake and she immediately asked me to read it to her. Like brought it straight to me.  My heart melted when she sat in my lap and laid her head back on my chest and said "hiya!" when we read the karate page.

Family, and the friends that mean as much as family, that is how I plan to soften this loss. 

Labels: family