Well this has been a shitty day. I had so many wins at work but the one thing I couldn’t secure led to a disappointing phone call. My eyes were tearing up earlier in the day from pollen/allergies, but hanging up that phone I felt like I had actually just finished having a long cry. Empty but turbulent. Like a fuck up.

I received an apology for something that happened last year, so long ago, and yet I feel guilty about that too. Guilty for how I reacted. Or lack of reaction. I shouldn’t have let it get in the way of such an important relationship.

I feel guilty that I have no great gift for my nephew’s first birthday. I’ve only had a year to think on it. Do I go symbolic? Economic? Future toys?

And then there’s the shit from guys. Have you tried online dating? HA!

Shit fuckers, motherfucking asshole fuckers. FUCK!!! It would be one thing if you were just wasting my time. I’m thirty and not married. My time has been wasted. I wasted it. Guys wasted it. It has been laid to waste and we’ve moved on or I thought I was and I thought I was trying harder & being better but shit fucking hell ahhhhhhhhh!! I don’t know what my angry music is. Not my vulnerable and angry music. I’m not going to cry. This isn’t some hormonal menstrual influenced whine fest. This bitch fest is brought to you by the guy that shredded my last nerve, took my last fuck to give (ha! not literally), and will never be worth my time again.

Labels: all the feelings, bad week, pissed