I should be asleep, anxious for the night to be over so I can open gifts.
I have no care in the world about the underside of my christmas tree.

It could just be that I feel no sense of time, since apparently the weather doesn't too, but it does not feel like Christmas is tomorrow. Even church tonight felt nothing like getting all dolled up for the evening service. Tomorrow will be just another Monday that I don't have school and get to sleep in, at least in my book. All I can think about is the future. My close friends have some kind of exciting travel in their future and I'm not even sure if my family will actually be able to survive together in Italy & Germany. The thought that I might actually get to leave this country is surreal.

I think most of all I'm jealous of Leslie. She's had this dream since, forever? Next year she'll be overseas studying what she wants to study, where she wants to study, when she wants to study. And then you take studying out of the picture and she's in England for a year and there are so many good shows and the fashion is mouth watering and she'll be able to go to Topshop and that's pretty much where I become jealous. I'm so so so proud of her and happy for her though, so the jealousy feels more or less like a minor emotion.